Towards the end of the old millennium, I woke up one morning from a deep sleep, and, putting pen to paper, this is what I wrote:

As I wake up , I know  
the futility of ‘centring’ on anything,
be it the ego or the so-called ‘higher’ or real self!

I was cut loose from slavery of all kind
including all aspects of ‘The Self, even in a good and positive sense.

This is a truth that ‘got me’,
and entered deep into my guts.

It was as if all my awareness is now centred in this way of knowing.

It was telling me that this faculty of knowing
is as real as seeing with the physical eye.
It is as real as my vasectomy was!
An ‘embodied’ knowing nevertheless;
as emotional as it is intellectual, as physical as it is mental.

And yet it is a knowing that has nothing to do with ‘me’.
Indeed, having an ‘I’ is a limitation,
a form of slavery.

‘I wasn’t an ‘I’ but beyond ‘I’ and a negation of ‘I’
and yet I was ‘me’ without having to be ‘me’”
9 December 1999.

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