BE A DEMON by D H Lawrence (1929)

Oh be a demon

outside all class!

If you’re a woman

or even an ass

still be a demon

beyond the mass.

Somewhere inside you

lives your own little fiend,

and woe betide you

if he feels demeaned,

better do him justice,

keep his path well cleaned.

When you’ve been being

too human, too long,

and your demon starts lashing out

going it strong,

don’t get too frightened

it’s you who’ve been wrong.

You’re not altogether

such a human bird,

you’re as mixed as the weather,

not just a good turd,

so shut up pie-jaw blether,

let your demon be heard.

Don’t look for a Saviour,

you’ve had some, you know!

Drop your sloppy behaviour

and start in to show

your demon rump twinkling

with a hie! hop below!

If, poor little bleeder,

you still feel you must follow

some wonderful leader

now the old ones ring hollow,

then follow your demon

and hark to his holloa!

NOT LONG TO GO NOW!

I am so excited. Thrilled. For the first time in one thousand years, I, as an ordinary person, have just been invited to celebrate my freedom and sovereignty. I will be able to stand shoulder to shoulder, for the first time ever, with British aristocrats. I will be equal – for a few minutes, at least – to the nobility, to the elite, of British society.

I am still overcome with the reality of it all.

I’m told that I will be part of a truly radical act. As inclusive as you can get, in the privacy of my lounge, or outdoors on the patio – weather permitting. Next Saturday I will be able to join with millions in the UK in swearing. A posh kind of swearing!

As KC3 – nothing to do with KFC – will be crowned king, we, the people, are being crowned as well. We ordinary folk will also be able to swear allegiance to the new British monarch in our homes.  Actually, for my generation, every home did have a ‘throne room.’ How often did we hear the phrase, across the nation, that so-and-so was currently ‘on the throne’!

Allegiance? There is actually a more medieval word, a posher word, a more subservient word for allegiance. ‘Homage’, although you don’t pronounce the ‘H’. It’s Omage! O mage. Oh my!

‘Never before in our history’ (I’m swooning already) has the public (you and me) been offered the chance to pay homage in this way’, said the HQ of the established English religion in Lambeth. The same Lambeth borough where 33% of the working age population live in poverty.

But that doesn’t matter, because Justin, the Anglican Archbishop in Lambeth does have a job and he’ll be in charge of religious proceedings on Saturday.

Armed with the actual words – courtesy of our nation’s  newspapers – Justin Cantuar, as he is known, will directly ask little-old-me, not only to ‘Pay true allegiance to KC3,’ but also to KC3’s heirs and successors, according to law’. And then the punchline, ‘So help me God’, although the service sheet doesn’t explain which God it is, or maybe it should be Goddess, in this all-inclusive society of ours!

This is a lot to take on board, but someone has described it as ‘democracy in action’, so it must be OK: KC3, KW5, and even tiny KG7, who is currently nine years old. True allegiance or truly daft?

Then I have to shout – after all, our house is about 130 miles from Westminster – ‘May KC3 live for ever’. Forever? My Mother and Father didn’t get to live forever, but, that’s not surprising, because they didn’t get that special holy oil poured on their heads, hands and breasts.

Pantomime in May!  Why not, after all, it is a royal pantomime.

Geraintus Cambrensis, Archdruid of Cambria, Lord of Bannau Brycheiniog, Protector of Llaregub and Duke of Azard. 1 May 2023

This could be a picture of Archdruid Cambrensis et al