A dream from the late 1980’s

The final breakthrough came when I was liberated from everything that I had regarded as my ‘inwardness,’ my so-called ‘true-self.’

The identity that I had cherished for so long, was completely shattered.


In its place I was embraced, enveloped and ultimately empowered by ‘The Look,’ though I wasn’t fully aware of it at the time.

A pair of eyes. Mysterious eyes. Eyes which became the deepest source of meaning for me, even when they were veiled or even closed!

Sometimes more so when they were shut.

And the more she glanced at me, the more ruthless she was in negating all the concepts and images that had hitherto sustained me in my spiritual life.

And everything that I had thought of as embodying the divine and human?


But in that act of annihilation, I found myself.

When the hounds bay …

“When the hounds bay, we know we are in the saddle!”

Mahler’s Third Symphony was received with some hostility upon its first few hearings. After the second performance on 13 December 1895, Bruno Walter claimed, “To be sure, there was hostility, misunderstanding, belittlement, scorn. Yet the work left such a deep impression of greatness and originality of the force of Mahler’s personality, that one may date his rise to fame as a composer from that day.”

The hostility led Mahler to exclaim, “When the hounds bay, we know we are in the saddle!”

“Redbone Coonhound Baying” by Tex Smock: 

“And there I will give you a hundred hounds; No mightier creatures bay at the moon” – from W B Yeats ‘The Wanderings of Oisin.’